Learning to Validate Yourself: A Core DBT Skill That Builds Confidence
When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to dismiss or minimize your emotions. Many of us have learned to push feelings aside, tell ourselves we’re “overreacting,” or compare our struggles to others and decide they’re not valid. Over time, this self-invalidation chips away at confidence and makes it harder to trust yourself. One of the most powerful skills taught in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is self-validation — learning to acknowledge your own feelings and experiences without judgment.
Recognizing that your feelings matter is the first step toward rebuilding trust and confidence in yourself.
What Self-Validation Really Means
Self-validation doesn’t mean you agree with every thought that comes up or that you never want to change your reactions. It means recognizing that your feelings are real, understandable, and worthy of compassion. Instead of saying, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” self-validation sounds more like, “It makes sense that I feel anxious right now — this is a stressful situation.” By practicing this skill, you begin to replace self-criticism with understanding, which helps build confidence from the inside out.
Why Self-Validation Matters for Confidence
Confidence isn’t about never struggling — it’s about trusting that you can handle your struggles. When you validate yourself, you’re sending the message that your emotions make sense, and that you are capable of moving through them. This shift reduces shame, eases emotional intensity, and allows you to respond with clarity instead of judgment. Over time, self-validation creates a foundation of self-trust: “I can listen to myself, care for myself, and make choices that reflect who I am.”
How to Practice Self-Validation in Daily Life
Name the emotion. Simply putting words to what you’re feeling reduces intensity.
Acknowledge why it makes sense. Ask yourself: What about this situation explains why I feel this way?
Normalize the experience. Remind yourself that emotions are human, not weaknesses.
Offer kindness. Replace harsh self-talk with gentle encouragement: “I’m allowed to feel this. I can take care of myself here.”
Every time you validate your emotions, you strengthen the belief that your feelings are real, manageable, and worthy of care.
How DBT Therapy Can Help
Self-validation is a core part of DBT because it empowers people to build a healthier relationship with themselves. In therapy, clients learn step by step how to identify emotions, validate them, and choose effective coping strategies instead of relying on criticism or avoidance. With practice, this skill doesn’t just reduce emotional pain — it strengthens confidence, resilience, and the ability to face life’s challenges with self-respect.
💬 The bottom line: Learning to validate yourself is one of the most important skills you can build in DBT. It allows you to replace judgment with compassion, rebuild self-trust, and create the kind of confidence that lasts — even when life feels messy or uncertain.
With support and practice, self-validation can become the foundation that helps you face challenges with clarity and confidence.d out
Build confidence with DBT therapy in New Jersey, New York & Rhode Island
I know how easy it is to fall into patterns of self-criticism and doubt, especially when emotions feel overwhelming. DBT offers practical, evidence-based skills to help you quiet the inner critic and replace it with self-understanding and compassion. By learning tools like self-validation, mindfulness, and emotion regulation, you can begin to trust yourself, navigate challenges with clarity, and build the confidence to live more fully. If you’re ready to explore how DBT can support your growth, I’m here to help you take the next step.
Start Building the Skills to Trust Yourself and Feel More Confident Every Day!”